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Rehabilitation

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This whole thing makes me angry! and scared and gloom-filled, too.

Ok, my first reaction is: Who Cares? Let them rot. I want justice and I want revenge!

My second reaction is gloomy fear. I wonder about the effects of convicted rapists after they are released. Unless rapists are locked away forever, we had better think very carefully about the post-punishment reality. If they are going to be a part of the general population after they serve their sentence, their prison experience could certainly not be more poisonous an experience.

Overall i think 'recovery' for convicted rapists would be difficult in any case. Especially since, in the United States at least, maximum security prisons are places of unparalleled sexual violence and brutality: for many inmates rape is an essential part of everyday life. Even if a prison had a brilliant and highly effective "rehabilitory program", prison environment is so rife and saturated with daily violence I would hazard to guess that American prisons create more rapists than they could possibly rehabilitate.

I think there is probably a much greater chance for recovery for someone who committed second- or third-degree assault, then for someone who exhibits predatory instincts and who has committed numerous acts of rape combined with significant violence and sadism.

Shit. Overall, this is depressing.

I reckon part of the solution is reforming prisons. Also, post-prison tracking and surveilance seem extremely important. Therapy really might help some rapists, but it's no cure all or panacea.

Troy

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Okay, I know I'm going to catch flack for this but here it goes;

I think anything is possible. If the individual really is SORRY and wants to change...get help..whatever.. I think they can change. True most of them will NEVER change but I truly believe some of them can.  I believe society and the way they were raised made them that way.

*T*  Our society has allowed pornography to flourish... topless bars..peep shows...hookers...magazines...#### even the "decent" magazines don't leave much to the imagination! Have you noticed the cover of the magagines now a days? At what point do we say society shares some of the responsibility for what's happened? Sorry.... rambling on.. this is a sore spot for me.  Just forget I said anything.

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if society was solely responsible for makeing rapists the way they are, we'd all be rapists, b/c we're all exsposed to society.

 yes society's misinformed and twisted versions of things it presents as truth don't help the problem, but we all hold PERSONAL responsiblity for how we veiw soceity's messages, and what we do with those messages.

this goes back to nature vs nuture, and like that debate with everything else, they are not mutually exsclusive.

as for rehab-ing them... i'm not really sure there is anything WE can do to rehab them... they can change themselves if they have the reason, drive and desire to do it, but it is not something that can be forced on someone, or even carried out in the same way for different people.

angel

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Admittedly, I haven't read everyone's posts but the way I see it there's only one way to ensure that someone won't rape ever again, and that's to castrate.  Unfortunately, the judicial system doesn't condone this course of action.  So, here's what I think:

Nobody can be rehabilitated unless they want to be.  I don't imagine that too many rapists really want to be rehabilitated, as they obviously do it because they want to.  I've never heard anyone say "I didn't want to rape her, I just couldn't control myself."  I don't know, just my opinion.

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Jasmine,

Never thought of that way...GOOD point!

You have just reaffirmed my position with the, so called, "rehabilitation" of sex offenders. Not that I needed it, but thanks for your perspective!

Trin

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I don't think it's possible. :angry:

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I don't think an offender can BE rehabilitated - as in sent to a program and poof he's cured. I think that if someone has an epiphany and suddenly realizes that they don't like the way they've been living their lives, they have the ability to change that. But it has to come from within them - and I for one am not about to trust that. I don't give out many second chances, and when I do, I usually get burned. So, if they are able to "change", someone else can give them a chance - but I won't.

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I have to say I don't think its possible at all and Iwouldn't want to take that chance on someone and have them hurt my children !!!!!!

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I don't think an offender can BE rehabilitated - as in sent to a program and poof he's cured. I think that if someone has an epiphany and suddenly realizes that they don't like the way they've been living their lives, they have the ability to change that.

Agreed. I also think it depends on why they did it in the first place, and what form the sexual assault took. I think there are a fair percentage of aquaintance rapists who're convinced that what they are doing isn't rape and isn't harmful. Classic example, from I never called it rape is the guy who flung the woman to the floor and raped her while (from her perspective) she was fighting tooth and nail, then after asks her in all sincerity, "Wow! Are you always this violent when having sex?" I know there are guys who believe in the whole porn myth "she wanted it, she asked for it, she enjoyed it" - where they think the woman is just not honest enough (or bright enough) to know what she wants and they're doing her a favor. I dealt with one of those myself. :glare:

Guys like that can change if they recognize that they've been minimizing the damage they're doing, in my experience. But of course they don't WANT to recognize what they've been doing, because then they have to deal with the harm they've caused. :o: Still, if you can get them to face it, then there's the possibility of change. Especially if it's the first time they've done it... I think how long and how much they've abused is part of it, too; how deeply committed they are to the pattern, I guess.

The thing is, especially when it comes to date rape, our culture teaches men that rape is harmless. :angry: So guys in that mindset who discover that it isn't harmless may not be so committed to abuse as someone who is committing incest, for instance. They may be doing it because they think it's normal, or okay, rather than because they "need" to do it. It hurts just the same for whoever is being abused - the abuser's reasoning makes no difference there - but it makes a difference when it comes to the abuser's potential for rehabilitiation, I would think.

I wouldn't want to take that chance on someone and have them hurt my children !!!!!!

Me neither. I'm willing to speculate on the possibility of rehabilitation and I can handle dealing with guys who have supposedly been rehabilitated (or at least I could some years back) - IF they recognize what they've done. And recognizing what they've done means recognizing that no woman (or child, or other vulnerable person) should be expected to trust them or to be alone with them. Anyone who tries the, "But I'm rehabilitiated! You should trust me as if I'd never done anything wrong!" is minimizing the harm they have done and is, IMHO, indicating thereby that they are flat untrustworthy.

I would argue that even a rehabilitated sexual abuser needs to accept that their past is going to limit them. I don't agree at all that someone who has abused should be allowed to go back to the job that gave them an opportunity to abuse, for instance; recognizing the harm they have done means they are willing to accept limitations meant to minimize their opportunity to abuse again. In particular, parents are not (and should not be) obligated to trust someone with that in their past.

My main problems with the whole idea of rehabilitation is the idea that this means we should treat the person as if the abuse never happened (that, to me, is minimizing the crime), and the idea that anyone can rehabilitate an offender. Rehabilitation is not something that can be done to an abuser; it is a hard thing that only the abuser can choose to do. And, going on personal experience with guys who think they're rehabilitated, that commitment is not a cure. The attitudes that allow abuse go DEEP, it takes time and work and someone in that person's life actively challenging them on a regular basis before rehabilitation is even possible. It isn't something anyone can do just by deciding they want to do it. Someone earlier compared it to drug use; a habitual user can quit using drugs, but the addiction is still a part of their life and an active possibility that needs to be dealt with every time it comes up. Which is often daily, even years after the last time they took drugs.

Which is another reason I don't trust the ones who say, "I've changed; now people should treat me as if it never happened." Maybe it's possible that some abusers truly change so deeply it's never an issue again. But my guess is that's always a weak spot, a potential response to stress or whatever - and my belief is that an abuser who truly wants to change, who truly regrets the abuse and never wants to do it again, knows that, and is fine with changing careers or whatever in order to minimize the possibility of doing it again.

Because any sexual abuser who takes the pain they've caused seriously knows they caused harm that could mean life-long pain for the person they hurt; therefore life-long consequences will not seem unfair to them.

Sheryl

Edited by Shalom

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Personally I can never see my abusers changing thier ways - when I was very little they got caught, they could have stopped - but the didn't, so that answers this questionn for me

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Considering,that all 3 of my a*****s knew what they did was wrong I don't think so! :angry:

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Rehabilitated, no.

My abuser has been through sex offender treatment. Do I think we will abuse again? No. I do feel that the reasons he abused me (low self-esteem, physical/emotional abuse during childhood, a marriage that is unfulfilling) still exist in his life, however. I don't think his emotional neediness will ever be fixed.

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I still doubt there is such a thing. :glare:

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in my opinion..you cant now nor ever be rehabilitated....and honestly i think those who believ these people can be rehabilitated and let them out of jail or give a lesser charge becase theres a hope of rehabilitation are setting other people to get hurt

i dont believe in it, or support it

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*T*

Do I think offender can be rehabilitated?

Yes.....

I was raped in high school by my boyfriend and his best friend. I never reported it. It was a horrific ordeal that tooks me years to come to terms with and destroyed just about every relationship I ever had. I joined the Army to get away from it all and I was terrified to come back to my home town after I got out of the Army. But after a 4 years of being away, I came back.

One of the guys had left town, in college or something, I dont really give a crap about him, this isn't about him. The other guy (the best friend) was still here. I would see him around town. He couldn't look me in the eye. He looked ashamed.

I was at the park one day with my son and he was there, he was with his daughter. And my son and his daughter were playing together.

He came over to me, sat down next to me and said "I know this doesn't mean much after all this time, but I'm sorry for what I did. I was stupid and I should have gone to jail, but you didnt tell anyone. I wish I could take it back. I know you hate me, I know that I shouldn't even be sitting here talking to you, and I dont deserve your forgiveness. I just wanted you to know that I regret it every day."

We were 16 years old when it happen, 6 years later I forgave him.

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i dont think for one minute that these people can be rehabilitated. :angry: god this bugs the hell out of me cause iv been told that my so called father who is in jail for what he did to me will be geting 2half years taken of his jail time cause hes been doing well in all the programs hes been asked to do in there.an he has been good.THIS IS BULLSHIT im sorry but the only reason hes doing the sodding programs is cause he knows he will get out sooner.he wont be any differant when he gets out.this man is a disgrace an a danger to all kids an its a shame that the law does not open its sodding eyes to these people....rehabilitation,,,what a joke.sorry for going on but it really does my head in. :angry:

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errrrrrrrrr im sorry to come back an add more but i think yesterday i was proved right .you cant rehabilitate these people.i saw someone yesterday who has a friend who is a worden at the prison were my so called father is an she asked her if she new him.an her answer was,,,,yes hes done 2 rehabilitaion courses an hes now saying he has done nothing wrong.wtf.he admitted it in court thats why hes inside but because hes done these courses he still gets out early.what the hell.hes going to come out of there just the same ,he has not took anything from the courses thay made him do.im dreading him coming out.he is a danger to all kids

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A couple of days ago I might have said yes, but now that something like this directly effected me, I don't know, and I'm rethinking a lot of views in my life right now.

If I had the choice of the person being healed and never doing it again, or being dead, I would choose being dead. Better yet I would prefer he be locked up in jail and have the things he has done, have done to him every day for years and years.

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I think rehabilitation is impossible. Rape isn't a "normal" crime. It's like comparing a crime of passion (wife kills cheating husband) to a serial killer who hunts and tortures for pleasure. One is a "normal" and understandable albeit tragic crime. The other is beyond comprehension. Rape is the serial killer version of a crime. My opinion is a mind that inhuman is beyond help.

There may even be understandable reasons in a rapist's background that explain their behavior, however, I think by the time they rape it's too late. The mind, the morality, the essence of what makes that person human, is bent beyond repair.

Edited by PartlyCloudy

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