Guest Em


29 posts in this topic

I think you just have to wait it out and don't try to force it.  There will come a time that you will cry a river and wonder if you will ever stop.  I didn't cry in therapy until after the whole story was told.  It was almost as if I needed to do the telling and still find therapy to be a safe, accepting place.  If I had been able to cry or show emotion in therapy, I don't think I ever could have gotten through it - so perhaps it served a purpose for me.

It will come when you are ready.

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Experiences with people who have psych as part of their name?

OOooooh Yes . . .

The First one I went to was a laugh - I did not even mention the r*pe - never got the chance. I started with some other factors in my life, most importantly at that time was to prove I was not incompetent (my family was trying to place me in mental health care because they claimed I was). It was a response to my throwing one son and hubby out of the house after numerous heated discussions.  The Psychologist said he couldn't do any more for me - that I could go to him if I thought it would make me feel better, but he'd done all he could (I think we had 3-4 sessions?)

#2 wasn't much better - in fact was worse.  This one was at the clinic where my doctor worked.  I complained that I was being treated like a 3 year old and explained why.  He, in the presence of my husband, agreed - that I WAS acting like a child because I willingly allowed hubby to control me.  When I described instances where I'd stood up for myself and fought for what I thought was right - so was not always a child, he came back with "Now you're a rebellious teen-ager!  I couldn't win - I was either the problem as a 3 year old, OR I was the problem as a rebelious teen. I was not acceptable in any mode.

On to #3 - at a clinic about an hour from our home.  We got there, he wasn't really interested in anything - spent our first session fillng out paperwork. Our second session didn't do anything for either of us . . . and we saw no future with him. To be honest with you, I don't even remember now what the real reason was that we left him - but at the time it seemed really important.

#4?  This was the only female counselor I had - and she was a gem.  I was able to start to open up with her, but my insurance turned me down when I asked them to cover her.  She was the first counselor who seemed to actually care about ME instead of the labels she could put on me and the guidelines she would need to follow because of the labels.

On to #5 - my husband's minister.  We had therapy for about a year - once a week at first, then it whittled down to once a month - haven't been for well over 2 months now.  DId he help?  YES - in our relationships to each other, he did a world of good.  In fact, we are reconciling.  Did he help me with the r*pe issue?  NO.  He won't try to believe me.  He told me that he KNEW I was not raped - but something MIGHT have happened (If I wasn't lying?). Then, when I was able to PROVE to him that I'd had bruises all over my body, he changed that to something else MUST have happened, but he still knew it wasn't R*pe!

If he sees me as a liar, why do I need to continue to go to him? If he can't believe what I tell him, why waste my time.

That makes FIVE counselors in five years - no, SIX  . . there was one BEFORE the first one, to help me deal with issues that had come up prior to the r*pe, but this was another of those "no coverage" insurance fiasco's.

SO . . . after going to SIX counselers/therapists/psych-whatevers, I STILL have never had any professional help dealing with the rape that happened FIVE years ago. . . Instead, I depend on my husband, who has done a hurculean job of remaining calm when I wasn't - and tries to keep my irritants to a minimum.  I also have gotten help from sites like this and a nun who has had a personal experience with it herself.

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Okay, I'll give it a try, may edit it later though as I don't think that right now is the best time to answer therapy questions :oP

What kind of therapy(ies) have you experienced? e.g. Cognitive behavioural/humanistic/psychoanalysis

The T I saw has been working most of her career with children and teenagers, and she used different approaches, but hadn't decided what to do with me yet (after about 6 or 8 sessions) So far she's tried behavioural and something she called focussing, don't know where that would fit

How did you choose your therapist?

I didn't choose LOL

I went to a psychiatrist because I wanted meds to stabilise me a bit, and she only prescribed them under the condition that I also see a therapist to which she referred me

Have you had bad experiences with therapists/ other professionals?

Yup...the psychiatrist I'm seeing doesn't take me seriously at all, her standard answer is "There's nothing I can do about this or that, it will come when you make progress in therapy" and switching meds b/c of side effects or b/c they don't help as well as demanding additional meds (sleeping pills) seems to be a big sin

The first and so far only therapist I've been seeing asked me about 7273198 triggering questions on about every detail of the abuse, basically focussed on how I could let him do that to me which to her was "surprising", almost never gave me the chance to bring up anything that was important to me and seemed just clueless most of the time. Before really starting T (after the evaluation sessions) she told me out of the blue that I couldn't continue because she was retiring and this was the last session, not without telling me that I should find a new T asap (average waiting lists are about 3 months) because I'm "extremely in need of treatment"

What is the single thing that you wish you had known before starting the process?

That it's about me and I shouldn't accept everything just because I want to heal....also that I should trust my gut instincts


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This is such a good thread - gives us all an idea of what's out there, the pitfalls etc.

What kind of therapy(ies) have you experienced? e.g. Cognitive behavioural/humanistic/psychoanalysis - not sure what the type of therapy I've had is called! I guess person-centred best described. Previously tried working with a pyscho-therapist.

How did you choose your therapist? - A friend recommended the r*pe crisis centre. They offer free counselling. There is the option to switch counsellors if the relationship doesn't work.

The pyscho-therapist was a referral by my GP.

Have you had bad experiences with therapists/ other professionals?  - The pyscho-therapist - couldn't have been more dis-interested if he tried. he did not specialise in this kind of work and his responses made me feel like I'd blown it all out of proportion. He wanted me to tell him everything that happened in the first session - way too quick. It felt a very traumatic experience.

Have you had bad experiences with different kinds of therapies? Just the above

What is the single thing that you wish you had known before starting the process? How long it would continue. I naively thought a few weeks would have me sorted - apparently not!

All in all it took me 6 years to accept the idea of counselling, and another 4 years before I found my current counsellor (the pyscho-therapist put me off trying again for several years). I'm glad I stuck with it though.


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