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Who Deserves to Be Here?

84 posts in this topic

*T* for those words.

I see so many people questioning Do I Deserve to Be Here?  Let's settle this.

If someone has sexually assaulted you, you deserve to be here.  

If it was attempted rape, you deserve to be here.  

If it wasn't rape, if it was unwanted and inappropriate touching, you deserve to be here.

If you are a man who has been sexually assaulted, you deserve to be here.

If it happened ten or twenty or thirty years ago, you deserve to be here.

If it was incest, you deserve to be here.

If you barely remember it, you deserve to be here.

If you were sexually harrassed, you deserve to be here.

If you are someone who supports, you deserve to be here.

That's all there is to it.  

I've seen a few people who have the feelings that their rape was not a particularly "bad rape".  My rape was not a particularly violent rape I was only concious of being raped for about one second and when I realized I was being raped, my boyfriend handed my rapists ass to him.  My rapist was the only one who got hurt.  

It didn't make any difference to me.  I had still been raped.  It still hurt on the inside.  I deserve to be here.

The degree of the rape, abuse, assault doesn't matter.  We feel many of the same feelings.  And we all deserve to be here and to help and to be helped.

I think that everyone will agree with me, so I'll get off my soap box now.

Thanks for reading.

Mistral
Mistral is now Jes

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Thankyou Mistral
God, but you can write!
love

Rachel xx

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Good post - amd a very reassuring one too.  Guess we are all a little paranoid - at least I know I am - I actaully got banned from one place cos I complained about someone who said that they "found it difficult to belive that I hadn't said anything".  Couldn't go through something like that again so I wanted to check before I started to talk about stuff. Anyway - glad to have found this place - Kiera

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thank you,
i wasn't certain if i deserved to be here, i mean i barely remember it, it was so long ago, and wasn't sure if it was quite rape, but thank you again, your words are so reassuring

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Mistral

This is so cool!

I just wanted to add another post to push this to the top again - hope that's ok.

Take care guys
*safe hugs*
Crying Angel

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Mistral,
You always write so good!! Thank you for your words!
(((safe hugz)))
Juli

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Mistral,

WELL PUT. YOU HAVE MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE BY SPELLING IT OUT SO PLAIN. THANK YOU.

Mother

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Well said! ((applause))

And..since this came up in a different post, I thought I'd add another post (as someone else did a while back) to push it back up to the top :)

((Safe hugs to all)) Rain

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This is a very important thread that all survivors and supporters here need to read, in my opinion.

Thank you, Mistral.

(((safe hugs)))

Natasha

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Couldn't agree more...with everyone!!  =)

~lostsoul

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thanks *snifles* I'm so glad that you care enough to post this... thanks again

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Oh, thank you... that's great to hear, thanx for making me feel like I belong, and like I'm wanted.  Right now, that's the greatest feeling in the world!

Stay safe, stay strong-

Moon Sprite

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Hey, always great to read something like this :)
It shows the true love of all the people here, and that's just a great thing.  We all are family here, that's what it feels like, real family!
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!

------

Jen

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As I registered, I wondered if I truly deserved to be here...thank you for showing us what it is to have a right to be somewhere.

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Thanks so much for your post. We're all friends here and we have a right to share our experiences and benefit from them!

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thank you for this post,  it was one of the ones tht was instrumental to my feeling comfortable enough to register.  I read so much here and the other posts that I identified with, but it happened so long ago and I burried so much of it that sometimes all I feel is extreme uncomfortableness and sometimes I can't even identify what caused it.

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Good post. Makes me feel a little better about being here, ty.

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boosting for new friends =)

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boosting again for new friends.

You are ALL welcome here.

:)

Emma

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Mistral (Jes),

Thank you for the post...  I've been here for almost a month and I'm finally, just in the last few days, beginning to feel ok about being here (nothing anyone did or anything, just my own insecurities).  Your post and trying out being in a chat room (two times now :) ) have helped me to feel better and reading and relating so much to what people say here at Pandy's have made me see I do belong here.

Thanks again...

Mouseisa

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you know, i really do not know the internet very well, so
please forgive me if i screw this up. i just registered on this site moments ago. i have read some of these posts and
just need to know if typing out your stories have helped you?

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Thank you so much for posting this, Mistral.  It was only a few days ago that I found this board.  I was undecided as to whether or not I should post, but after seeing this post of yours I made up my mind.  Right now I am starting to deal with what happened to me.  I do not want to accept what happened, nor do I want to deal with how it's affected me.  There is a part of me that thinks that I am not justified in feeling how I do and that what happened should not affect me as much as it does because, in relation to what others have experienced it seems like almost nothing.  The logical, thinking part of me knows that I need to accept what happened, accept and believe that it's okay for me to be as hurt as I am over this, and to accept that I have to deal with what happened.  The rest of me is fighting the logical part of me and does not want to listen.  I am 19 years old and I have a history of depression, and am currently depressed and on medication.  At this point I don't even have all of my feelings and thoughts sorted out.  I'm confused, scared, and hurt (emotionally).  As far as support goes, I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very encouraging and supportive and willing to do anything I ask of him.  He has and is encouraging to deal with this, yet is not pushing me to do so.  He realizes and understands that I may not be ready to take certain steps yet.  I also have a few other very close friends who are supportive and encouraging and willing to do anything they can for me, and many other good friends as well.  My parents know what happened, but they don't know much more than that.  I don't really discuss this with them so they don't talk about it.
Thank you again, Mistral, for your post.
Pamela
aka 'Lizard'

Quote: from mistral on 4:09 pm on July 7, 2001
*T* for those words.

I see so many people questioning Do I Deserve to Be Here?  Let's settle this.

If it wasn't rape, if it was unwanted and inappropriate touching, you deserve to be here.

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Thank you for the awesome post- I think you are right though- I think all of us question our degree of assault.  It's one of those things that like the questions "did I fight hard enough?" or "why didn't I fight" or "why didn't I go to the police?" etc.  I get so sick of questioning myself= but still I continue to do it.  This is great affirmation that we are all important, our experiences do matter, and that we are ALL valuable- thank you!!
Kelly

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