Pixxi

Private messaging

10 posts in this topic

Hi, I'm just wondering whether it wouldn't be a good idea to put a minimum post count before being able to send pm's like there is with the chat function? I'm not sure that its even possible, just thought I'd mention it.

I dunno if I'm just being paranoid but it makes me uncomfortable when I receive a message from someone who has posted no posts or only one or two, especially if the message directly refers to a post I've written.

Okay, I'm pretty sure I sound really paranoid but its something thats been worrying me so might aswell mention it.

Pixxi

:metoyou:

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I haven't had many pm requests but the few out of the blue ones have made me uncomfortable.

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I can see how this would be uncomfortable. Remember though that you are in control of what you read and what you don't you always have the option of deleting it.

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It's also good to remember that a lot of the times people are sending pms to reply to a board post you have made, to reach out and support you or to welcome you to pandys. if at any time you get a pm that makes you feel unsafe or upset you can always forward it to one of the board mods

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Thanks for the replies guys.

So I guess I was just being paranoid. I just thought that maybe there should have been a similar minimum post count to be able to send messages, like the minimum posts you need to make to be able to chat for the safety of users. I guess its not feasible though, it would probably dissuade people from participating on Pandy's.

Thanks anyway guys.

:metoyou:

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Thanks for the replies guys.

So I guess I was just being paranoid. I just thought that maybe there should have been a similar minimum post count to be able to send messages, like the minimum posts you need to make to be able to chat for the safety of users. I guess its not feasible though, it would probably dissuade people from participating on Pandy's.

Thanks anyway guys.

metoyou.gif

I think it might be difficult to include this, because it might prevent new members from contacting staff (mods, section mods, chat mods, team welcome etc) when they first join if they have a question or want to raise a concern in private or something.

If something feels 'off' about a PM, you can always ask a mod and they can look into it for you. If you just don't feel comfortable reading/replying to a member of the board who has PM'ed you, I think it's ok to ignore it - it's ok to have your own boundaries. I think sometimes people either aren't sure how to use to forum and might PM someone by mistake, or might not feel comfortable replying on the board yet, and it might not have occurred to them that they might make someone uncomfortable by receiving a PM from someone they don't even know at all on the board.

I think most times people are trying to be helpful, supportive and friendly. If someone sends you a PM asking for information about you though, or makes you feel uncomfortable in some other way, do refer that to a mod because nobody should be doing that.

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I can only echo Anath. And also, unfortunately we are limited to the features of the software we use for this board and having this kind of restriction is not something we can enable.

If you are uncomfortable with a PM, please feel welcome to report it to us if you believe it is against the board guidelines. If you are uncomfortable with the member contacting you out of the blue, it is absolutely okay to let them know politely that you don't feel comfortable continuing to talk with them but that you hope to see them around on the board and get to know them better that way before any future private conversations.

A lot of new members in particular are so eager to start talking that they don't realise the lack of etiquette it is to just message somebody out of the blue asking personal questions. Setting your boundaries can be a good way to make it clear to them that the same social rules apply here as in the real world. You don't walk up to strangers and ask them personal questions, and it isn't really appropriate to do that here either.

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If you don't want PMs you can turn off the ability to receive them in your settings.

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Thanks so much everyone for hearing me and reassuring me.

I'm feeling much better about it now, and I think I may have been over-reacting slightly.

Thanks again

:metoyou:

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It's not a problem at all hon, it's always okay to ask!

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