Ash

What have you learned from Pandy's?

124 posts in this topic

I had not stopped to think what i had learnt from pandys before so I am very greatful to the person who thought of this thread.

I think the best thing I have learnt is how I am not alone in the things i have experienced. Whilst I would hope no one else did know this it helps to understand that it wasnt because of who I am or something I did, there are just people out there who are bad people and should not have had children.

I have learnt that there is a lot of good, supportive and caring people. I have also learnt that I am capable of interacting with others, I am million times more confident talking to people in real life then I was prior to pandys. Think I have been at pandys little over a year now and looking back it was such a hugh positive step in my life.

Thank you to pandys and all its memebers.

You guys are amazing, everybody.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been a member for 4 months. I have learned that I am not crazy & I am not alone. Pandy's has been life-saving for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only been a member now for 2 days, but I already feel better just know there are other people like me out there. It is so hard growing up keeping these secrets inside and as I guy you feel like a complete freak, like you cannot tell anyone. I am so happy I have found this forum and I finally feel like there is some place I can tell me story and people will listen and understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only been a member now for 2 days, but I already feel better just know there are other people like me out there. It is so hard growing up keeping these secrets inside and as I guy you feel like a complete freak, like you cannot tell anyone. I am so happy I have found this forum and I finally feel like there is some place I can tell me story and people will listen and understand.

This exactly. I have been here for four days or so. I finally understand why I've been angry my entire adult life. I really had started to accept that I was just odd and wasn't going to fit in on Earth at all. It's really great to know that there are people out here who understand and want to help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That I'm not the only one who doesn't remember all the details of their csa. And that I'm not crazy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I joined Pandy's one month ago.

I have learnt that it is possible to feel loved, protected and cared for by complete strangers and that it is ok to not be ok.

Thank you all :-)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just joined yesterday, but seeing many people had it worse than i am but recovered, i think that i can do it as well. i learned that people can recover from their trauma. i wish i could be like that, too

i learn that abuse had many types.

before, i think that if you could still go to school, wasn't disabled, could still do daily tasks, didn't contract STDs from the abuse than you are good. you weren't abused. you are over thinking, being melodramatic.

but now that i read and read, i feel better about myself, that i wasn't the only one.

just starting my recovery.

best regard,

RC

Edited by rebornchaos

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned:

I'm not alone.

The way I react to sexual encounters is completely normal.

To accept what has happened to me.

That you can use your experience to help other people in life.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've gotten a ton of wisdom from this site over the last 6 years.

Learned that I'm not alone and I guess that I deserve support, that the circumstances surrounding my abuser did not decriminalize it (he has Aspergers, which was use to absolve him of accountability).

Taught me that there is life after this-people do go on and succeed, since all too often stories of r*pe preclude a downward spiral.

Pandy's is fantastic!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned that I don't have to be alone with my negative thoughts, that there are supportive people here who will help me through. I have learned that it is okay to cry or not react at all. I didn't know that was normal. I learned how to handle tough situations and I am using that to help people that I know who are going through tough times in their lives. I learned to enjoy the little things that make me happy everyday and to take care of myself when I need to. I have also learned that I am important and what happened to me was not my fault. None of it was.

Edited by Alexandra180
4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned that I can't do this by myself and asking for help is a sign of strength and healing not weakness.

I have learned that through our shared experiences, as horrible as they were, that we we lift each other up and as a group, as a community, we can rise above our individual challenges in a way that I don't think we can on our own.

I have learned that while I can't always see it or connect with it that I am worthwhile and....

I have learned is that I can feel lonely but I will never have to face another day, another crisis or another memory by myself, for sure the most important thing I have learned is that I don't have to struggle alone and in silence.

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned that it wasn't all in my head, but that that doesn't mean I can't aim to be as awesome as my Pandy's friends.

I have learned that there are deeply courageous people willing to listen and comfort, wherever your head is taking you

And I have learned what a great privilege it is to give understanding or comfort to others here, to extend care and to sometimes realise through doing so that the world is better for having people like us in it, which can be hard to see when real life is completely overwhelming.

I have learned that there can be moments of calm, and that these are precious but magically extendable through sharing.

And that humour, like hope, can live in the strangest places!

8 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned that healing is possible

I have learned I am not alone

I have learned I can help others

I have learned I want to live

I have learned it was not my fault

I have learned I am human

I have learned to feel, to reach out, to feel emotion. I have learned to cry.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been a Member Since 21 Jan 2014.

I have learned that I am never alone. I have learned that the way I feel about myself is not how I deserve to feel about myself. I deserve to heal.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I learned that the last person you would expect to be your abuser could be your abuser. I knew that sexual predators didn't look any different than others but I guess I didn't fully believe it until I was here. I have been able to stop lying to myself and admit he did it, even though he was a good man in other ways he was still my abuser. Thank you Pandy's for helping me figure this out.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

slkhamby-love your quotes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

slkhamby-love your quotes!

Thanks - the last 2 are from one of my favourite songs - called 'I didn't know my own strength' by Whitney Houston. Speaks volumes to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

through Pandys I got better connected with my own story

actually one of the best thing I have learned is to start with my own healing journey

I feel less alone and have learned that I am not alone (even though this is quite sad to see so many struggling)

have learned a bit to get out of myself and start talking - slowly - but I am ready

since I am at Pandys I realized that the memory issues (that I do not memorize many things) is with many survivors

I have learned that I am ok - the way I am!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I joined Pandys one year ago and I have learned that I'm not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I joined almost a year ago. I've learned that I'm not damaged, dirty, disgusting, or broken. That it wasn't my fault. That nobody is born to be used. That i deserve real love, without expectations or limits. That my responses and thought processes are normal for someone who has been abused, and that means that I'm actually normal (LOL! Who knew? )

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been here about 3 weeks. I finally feel that I can say what I went through without recrimination or having to defend myself. It's a safe place where you can be real. Everyone cares. You don't get that in the real world.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People here have been so supportive, even when I feel as though I barely went through anything, and even when others have gone through immense pain, they still possess such kindness and sympathy.

Sometimes people need to tell their stories over and over again, and that's okay.

It is never too late or too soon to start healing.

The crime itself matters less than the effects and how it made you feel.

No abuse is acceptable, though people react in different ways.

There is no case of sexual abuse that is too heinous, aberrant, "minor", frequent, confusing, frightening, etc., for people to not deserve to heal and receive support.

Everyone is unique and special. They each bring something different to Pandys.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 months...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites