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CalamityJane

Why are we discouraged to...

6 posts in this topic

...use the names of those who have wronged us? Or maybe I have misunderstood. I just think it could be a good thing - to warn one another of the dangers of certain men (or women!) out there...scarier still, maybe some of us have encountered the same person.

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Hi CalamityJane

Members are asked not to use full real names of their attackers for a number of reasons that pertain to the safety of the board and of the members themselves.

Unless your abuser has been convicted naming them on a board such as this leaves you and the board open to a legal case. It could have serious repercussions for the member too. The abuser may react with violence if this comes to their knowledge or friends of that person may lash out.

Also, even without those factors, a name is not always unique to one person. This could cause problems for an innocent person. Even when pictures have been provided (in media cases) the wrong people have been targeted.

I understand you need to warn others of your attacker, I really do.

If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to ask

Take care,

Heptet

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Hi CalamityJane,

Heptet is right - it is for safety and legal reasons, both for yourself and for this organisation, that we do not allow members to post the name of their perpetrator/s unless they have been convicted for the abuse/assault. If that is the case, we simply require some form of proof of the conviction, and then you are more than welcome to name your perpetrator.

Take care,

Kate

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Understood and thanks!

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I asked the same thing a few yrs ago, and even if we "could" post their names I never went to court over mine. (I kinda wish I had though)

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I haven't used the name of my attacker/abuser on any forum but I did give the case number to a lawsuit I filed and my own name. I sent a message to the board moderators about this issue. My post was edited. I did read the guidelines and saw that giving out personal information is discouraged. I think that is very good advice to consider and it is wise to advise that if someone does give out personal information this site cannot be held responsible. Going public would have to be a well-thought-out decision. I have been public about my situation for some time. I first went public because of the advice of Jennifer Bishop Jenkins who founded Illinoisvictims.org, who encouraged me to put up a youtube of the pictures the police took at the hospital at the time of the report of the criminal sexual assault. She suggested this so that pressure could be put on the prosecutor to act in my case. So, I am not worried about identifying myself, but I do understand the concerns and would absolutely respect others with regard to their preferences. I have a blog and have not been sued, nor even admonished by google, for I have qualifiers as to why I have the right to present the information publicly. I also have that on the youtube. I have come to this site to find people who might understand what has happened to me more than others who have not gone through it and I appreciate the privacy and the lengths the moderators obviously go to to ensure as "safe" an environment as could be possible on the net. I have found support for other aspects of the abuse, like the fraud aspect and the bigamy. His picture and name are posted on an anti-bigamy site. I FULLY understand the concerns of the people who run message board/support site.

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