bloogirl

Anybody else have weird triggers?

885 posts in this topic

older men touching me or getting too close.
anyone, unless it's a current significant other getting too close or touching me.

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For some reason, those older coke bottles - the curvy glass ones - are super triggering to me. I didn't realize this until I started working at a restaurant that uses them to put sauce in, and I have to refill them every night. It's always very triggering and makes me uncomfortable/uneasy. I don't know why, and I am thinking probably I don't want to know why. I'm okay with just knowing they trigger me, and avoiding them when possible.

Some other odd ones would be soap operas, Dial soap, kids purple pants, barney(lol. This makes me laugh because people always talk about being afraid of barney, and I actually am), a lot of puzzles. I have more but I have to go for a bit. I'll come back to this later probably..

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Any man who is great looking, long hair, canadian accents, blue jeans, blue eyes, can not look at GQ mag, or any models,if i see a good looking man i never give them the time of day, or even speak to them, no eye contact for sure, they are all arrogant power assertive rapists in my eyes. Can not listen to Micheal Jacksons "BILLIE JEAN" he said that was his favorite MJ song!! i wonder why??? he probably got a lot of women pregnant and dumped them. Does anyone who the laws in London, Ontario, like child support etc? when i get panic attacks lately my back and arms feel all itchy

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If anyone, mostly men, raises their hand in my line of vision [i.e. out of the corner of my eye] within a certain range, about 3 feet or less, I flinch.. very noticeably.. and I can't prevent myself from doing it.. I can be perfectly fine, happy, calm, whatever and then someone puts their hand anywhere near my face and I freak out physically.. Is there anyway to stop it?.. I feel awful when I get that confused look from them, sometimes they even laugh and joke like "What did you think I was going to hit you?" and I feel really bad...

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1.) Sex being talked about in an ignorant way.
2.) People referring to sex as "fun," or talking about it like something that can or should be taken lightly.
3.) Anyone talking about blow jobs AT ALL (this wasn't a part of my abuse but it comes from a long string of harassment).
4.) Angels.
5.) People saying the word "benefit."
6.) People saying "that's fair."
7.) Anything that suggests sex is something anyone would ever enjoy.
8.) Yelling.
9.) Any mention of/video of/occurrence of a woman face-straddling someone, especially if the person on bottom is giving her oral sex. This really seriously bothers me.

Pretty much I can't handle sexuality at all and yet I'm constantly thinking about it in very roundabout ways.

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Anyone touching my face around my lower lips or tickling the side of my neck.
Anyone touching my ears.

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It helped to read everyone's posts. Here are some of my triggers:

-Sex on TV or discussions about sex
-when my roommate has guys over
-the smell of pot
-being yelled at or criticized at work

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Hinata, I do the same thing. Or if a male raises his voice at me, even jokingly, i cringe. Or if a male moves one of their hands in a quick, direct matter around me. Automatic cringe. It gets so awkward because I have a lot of male friends and they always look at me all offended and are like "did you think I was going to hurt you?" all baffled and upset.

Also, when a sexual partner looks me in the eye during any sexual contact. My ex used to [spoiler]force me to give him oral and then force me to look him in the eye while I was doing it. [/spoiler] so I really can't stand eye contact during sexual moments. It causes me to feel so degraded and I just get overwhelmed with fear.

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Jeze, I know what you mean... it's just so hard It's not something I can stop myself from doing because it's an unconscious reaction.. Some of my friends are afraid to hug me because they think I'm too sensitive to touch.. While I'm glad on multiple levels that they are being so careful with me.. sometimes I just want them to treat me like a regular person..

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Anyone touching my mouth; my abuser used to put his hand over my mouth while he was raping me, if anybody was near enough to hear. Sometimes he did it so hard I felt like my teeth were being pushed inward out of my gums. Guys beeping at me as they pass in their cars, or any guy (especially older guys) hitting on me. Edited by Mandii

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[b][size="3"][color="#000000"]For me they are:[/color][/size][/b]


White SUV type vehicles (mainly Ford Broncos)

All cologne

Not being able to move my arms and/or my hands

Pretty much all males above 13 years old

Their first name, (ironically both of my abusers had the same exact first name)

Hearing the word "parasite"

Seeing, hearing and reading anything to do with s*x, r*pe, pain, sickness and death

Hearing children cry

All forests and wooded areas, regardless of time of day

Complete darkness in a open area ( I am actually very comfortable in small dark areas. )

Being outside in the open between dusk to dawn

Having anything on my wrists, neck or ankles, other than extremely loose things, even then its too much sometimes

Not having socks on when I go to sleep

Not having thick covers to cover my entire body including my head when I goto sleep, irregardless of temperature

People touching me, regardless of intent

Thick Slavic accents from men

Pictures of myself at any age, even now

All Mirrors

Entryway doors with glass in them

Men making eye contact with me

Having both my arms above my head with my hands being together

Anyone touching my face

Anyone touching my arms or hands on propose (I usually either freeze or freak out)

Invasion of my personal space (I will freeze up, or quickly get out of the way)

Hearing cars pulling up in the driveway or any driveway if I can hear it

Hearing doors open and close

11:50pm, Dec. 19th [spoiler]the moment my mother died of cancer, leaving me alone to the full front of my father's abuse[/spoiler]
Hearing and seeing anything concerning the military (especially people in uniforms)


[b]this is all I can think of so far... [/b] Edited by dko

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with me its
loud noise
bright ligths
anyone walking up behind me and touching me
people laughing near me
the sound of metal being crushed
the sound of tires screching
any one joking with me in a insuiting manner ( no that not a trigger it just p*sses me off)
almost forgot clost doors even if they open , every house I live in they the first thing I remove and store in the garage ( my brother love to hid in them as a joke )
I can no longer watch NASCA races because of the weacks ,(if it show a dashcam of one I'll total freck out big time, and I wont come back to realily for a time, Edited by ravennite

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Swimming pools (I was inappropriately touched in a swimming pool)
Bald men with goatee beards
Male ejaculation
10 year old girls (My age the first time I was sexually assaulted)
The smell and taste of rum (I had drunk a bottle of the stuff the night I was raped)
Anyone coming up behind me and putting their hands on my waste or lower
the phrase "You're so attractive when you're angry"

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My *weird* triggers are:

-Massive Attack (The Band)
-My car that I gave to my dad because I can't afford the payments right now.
-Hands on my neck
-Bud Light Labels
-Air Mattresses
-Durex Condoms
-Full Length Mirrors
-Country Roads
-Anyone--a child or older person--with his name.
-Quentin Tarantino
-Whataburger
-When my mother says "Good Girl" to the family dog.

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-people touching my neck
-people grabbing my wrists
-being touched by strangers
-the smell of wisky
-the smell of body odour
-knives (especially when guys play with them)
-men with foreigh accents
-muslim men
-hawian shirts
-showers
-swimming pools
-hearing his name
-'i will allways love you' by whitney houston (the song)
-unexpected physical contact
-sometimes sex
-performing oral sex
-the dark
-being outside alone at night
-beig in a bikini
-bing pinned down
-someone holding both my wrists with one hand
-being backed against a wall with people infront of me

there are probably more but thats all i can think of for now

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Some of my triggers that are "weird":

- America's Next Top Model
- Law and Order (Particularly SVU) even ads for it
- Halloween (Particularly costumes and pumpkin carving)
- Hearing C's name or J's name
- Being alone with a man
- Any type of male attention-- talking, flirting, perceived interest in me, etc.
- Being in a crowded place
- Being held or pinned down in any way (even the thought of it)
- Camping
- Having the flu
- Being examined by a doctor
- Being in a room that is too clean-- to the point of perfection
- The ads for The Lovely Bones (These are Killing me right now)
- Seeing girls who are seemingly innocent, and wondering if they have been victims of SA
- Thinking or talking about being in a relationship
- People talking about C, the state where he lives, the place where we worked together, or a possible upcoming "staff reunion"
- Anything to do with Superman (C looked like him and had an extensive collection of Superman paraphernalia)
- People talking about the college I attended when I was raped by J
- Weighing myself or being weighed at the doctor's
- Seeing any pictures of myself from the 3 year period I was with C
- Mirrors

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- September
- the word "pleasure"
- the word "tool"
- suburbs
- his name
- being at my parent's house
- the song "dirty little secret"

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My weird triggers are:

The sound of people walking on snow (this is a new one). I'm not having a great winter :(
Holding hands
Hearing people whistle. Not wolf whistling, but when someone whistles a tune or anything like that
Crowds/busy places
Hearing someone speak when I can't see them
When anyone stares at me, or tries to flirt with me
I have been known to get triggered by being asked for direcitons by a stranger...

That's all I can think of right now.

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Another trigger of mine is classical music. Every man who's ever hurt me worshipped it. I don't think I'll ever fully be able to trust any man who listens to it on a regular basis. :(

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Reading or seeing older siblings hug each other or *shiver* kiss on the cheek or something. It really brings back bad memories. :blush:
Fire.
For a reason I cannot possibly imagine, dead animals (aka roadkill or when pets die) I can't stand to even think about it.
The undersides of beds or in closets (the unfortunate spots of my childhood sibling-abuse)
The bleachers at car racetracks. (another popular spot for my adolescent wanderings)
The dark.
Watching movies with other people. (I have now taken to only watching them alone. this is my worst trigger except for maybe the first one I listed)
Stuffed animal pandas.
Zoos.
Butterflies, moths, beetles, and ladybugs.
Common contact (hugs, shaking hands, tickling, etc)
TICKLING. ugh.
Touching/brushing (even accidentally) against my stomach will make me jump and lash out.
Boats in general.
The ocean/lakes/ponds/rivers.
The sound of people chewing/breaking ice.
Waking up early.
Sleeping on too-soft beds.
Getting touched at all by any male member of my family, especially my father. (who never abused me... it's a mystery)
Long driveways.
Orange baseball caps.
Slippers.
Being looked at or called a "pet".
Being treated as though I am immature in some way.
Not keeping my daily ritual of drinking several cans of soda.
Funerals and Weddings.
Flashy cars.
Mention of RVs, motorhomes, trailers, or campers.

As you can see... I have a lot of triggers. :(
I'm kinda ashamed... now I feel exceptionally weak and foolish. :unsure: Edited by FearingTheFlies

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the smell of fresh cut grass
the smell of cigars
sometimes the smell of body odor...

anybody else have lots of... smell... triggers???

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My triggers are:

- not being in the dominant position for any sex acts
- silence as a response after I open up to someone
- french kissing

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My triggers are:

-My late wife's BFF
-Popcorn ceilings
-Bambi
-coconut smell
-runny eggs
-the word 'brother'
-shamwows and the shamwow guy

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the smell of cigarette smoke
loud breathing
a certain brightness of the room in the evening
drizzley weather
physical signs of strenth like muscles.
art work that are sort of empty like the more modern stuff where they have made a black circle wit a red stripe in the middle of white blankness. i dont know why that freaks me but it does.

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the smell of alcohol on a man's breath
my old bedroom (where most of the abuse happened)
movies or shows about abuse
little girls hugging and happy with their dads
some other smells I can't describe
being touched by a man...of any age

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