troubleinparadise

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About troubleinparadise

  • Birthday 06/03/1985

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  • Gender identity
    Female
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  • Location
    Western Canada
  1. Hi tjmom726, What a great post! I don't think it's corny, I think it's inspiring! Being myself - instead of being what others expect me to be - is something I'm working on in T, so seeing this post is a great help. See? Your actions already made a difference! Whilst reading your post, I was reminded of one of my favourite quotes by Maja Angelou: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." I wish you very good luck and you deserve the best in life! troubleinparadise
  2. Etheris, I know what you mean about the second comment. I'm so glad you see yourself that way! My experiences have certainly made me a different person than I was before...I've learned a lot, but I'm not sure they made me a better person. I guess the reason it ruffled me so much was ...well, how can somebody be glad that their best friend was SA'd? I wasn't good enough before so being SA'd made me better?? I know she didn't mean it that way. I know it's my own illogical thought patterns that have skewed what she meant. I know she meant to be supportive and I really, really appreciate that she tried. But it just was so not what I needed to hear at the time. I also wanted to mention that everybody's experience with SA is different. There is no "better" or "worse", I don't think - it's awful that this has happened to any of us, in any form. Pandy's is a place to share, not compare...nobody will judge your story here. You deserve all the support and compassion that this place has to offer. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you're taking gentle care if ok troubleinparadise
  3. Etheris, that's horrible. I'm sorry he said that to you!! I thought my boyfriend should know, so I told him about what had happened to me. He said "Wow, what a depressing conversation. I was hoping to get laid. Can we do that now?" Thanks for the support, jerkface! He's dating someone else now and she's welcome to him!! One of my best friends told me "I'm glad you've been through shit and I'm glad you've had rough times. It has made you a better person." I think she meant it in a supportive way...but that's really not how it came out. I'm sure there must've been an easier way to make me a "better person"!!
  4. Apparently I am hugely triggered by wearing scarves. Found that out today. Good to know....
  5. Hayley, that is so awful. I'm sorry you had to hear that. People are so ignorant sometimes. I've had a few stupid comments. Here are some of the more *ahem* memorable ones: I told a co-worker/friend of mine what had happened and he told me "well, if that's the case, he has a bigger problem than you do". Thanks for that, really. Glad you're so concerned about him. My now ex-bf, after I had told him what happened (I was passed-out drunk and r'd by one of my so-called friends): "hey, I didn't know we were allowed to do that!" Yeah, um, you're not!! I've also gotten the more common ones: How come that still bothers you? Get over it God doesn't give you more than you can handle Everything happens for a reason People can be so stupid.
  6. I must be seeing things...sorry!
  7. Hi, I was just wondering how blog views are counted. For example, I know that if you post in, say, my voice, that it will count all the times you check your own thread in the views. Is it the same for the blogs? I've noticed that it seems to sometimes count when I look at my own blog and sometimes it doesn't. This isn't really an issue, I'm just curious Also, my pandy's skin is frosty atm, and I was wondering what the cute little snowman with the red hat means beside the big snowman (which are both beside the forum titles). I read somewhere else that it's because I still have posts to read in that forum, but some forums have the little snowman and some don't (even ones where I haven't read all the posts). Once again, just curious! Thanks, troubleinparadise
  8. My weirdest trigger is the Bible. It had absolutely nothing to do with my assaults. I told my T once and she thought it was the weirdest thing ever and couldn't figure out how the trigger worked. My second weirdest trigger is the show Trailer Park Boys. One of them (can't remember which) was making an appearance at the bar I was at the night of the second assault. I didn't like the show before, but now it makes me sick to even hear about it. Others: - being touched by people I don't know or by drunk people - being touched without warning or without my permission - certain songs - beer - smell, taste, etc. - a certain classroom on my university campus - half-lit rooms - Family Guy - being pushed/held down I'm sure there are others, but these are the main ones that I can think of at the moment......
  9. This has become one of my favourite poems. It is amazing! The Guest House This being human is aguest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meannes, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. - Rumi Each time I read it, I find a new meaning. I love this poem. hugs, troubleinparadise