Parlophone

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About Parlophone

  • Rank
    I'll be my own hero
  • Birthday 04/14/1996

Profile Information

  • Gender identity
    Non-binary
  • Membership Type
    Survivor
  1. I'm sorry your husband doesn't seem to be picking up on your distress. I've no experience with this sort of thing myself, but I imagine that it must be hard. Perhaps you could pull him aside and sit him down to talk about how all of this is affecting you? That might be difficult to do as well, but it may be better than bottling it all up.
  2. i dont knnow.. but it does seem t o be really bad.. im sorry that youre going through do much. you dont deserve any of it.
  3. *sitting with you and giving you lots of support* I'm really sorry you're going through all this.. It really does make you wonder who you can trust when everyone around you have treated you with ill intentions.
  4. Sitting with you and offering you my support if you'd like. I'm sorry that you ever had to go through any of what you went through. It's not your fault that you didn't tell, by the way. I didn't tell either. I was too afraid to.
  5. It's really sad how much I can relate to this right now. Sitting with you and giving you safe, supportive hugs if that's okay. I'm sorry that I can't do more to help you feel better. I really hope that someday there is someone who will protect you and give you the support that you need.
  6. I'm so very sorry that you had to go through this. Sitting with you, if okay, and sending you healing thoughts.
  7. Oh dear, that does sound like it's a lot to go through. Just try to let the feelings out today, if you can. And maybe you can vent to someone you trust. You could also draw what you're feeling with some crayons, or maybe you could use play-doh to mold things. Or if you'd rather not express the emotions right now, perhaps you could do some guided meditations to help deal with them. There are lots of them floating around the web. You can even find some on Youtube. I'm sorry that your caretaker did such awful things to you. Just try to stay strong through these feelings and flashbacks. Sitting with you and giving you safe hugs, if that's okay, Parlophone
  8. I'm so sorry you went through so much. I'm glad that things are better now than they were before. You're also very strong for surviving all of that.
  9. Hey there. I read this whole thing and, I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for what you are going through. Also, I know where you are coming from with the whole arousal from memories thing. It's totally normal to feel that way, trust me. Oh, and I get what you mean about the whole wanting your father's love thing too. I'm not exactly sure who my abuser is (although I highly suspect that it is my dad), but no matter who he is... it's almost as if I want the abuser to hurt me again. It's not because I want to be in an incestuous relationship or anything, but because I was trained to believe that that's how you show people you love them if you truly love them. I wasn't very loved as a child, so it's only natural that I would try to seek out that one thing that made me feel so loved back then, even if it was wrong. You are not disgusting at all for feeling the way you do when recounting memories, and you are certainly not alone. Please don't judge yourself too harshly for any of this, okay? Sitting with you and giving you safe hugs, if that's okay.
  10. Thank heavens! I wish you luck in getting them to break up too.
  11. I think you should call the police on him to be honest. I don't want to pressure you into doing this, but this man is a danger to both you and your mother. I don't know why on earth your mother is staying with this toxic man, but it isn't safe for either of you. If you call the police or CPS, they might be able to help you get away from him. I don't know about where they take you during that time, but I'm sure it's somewhere safe where no one can hurt you. I'm just really worried about you and don't want you to get hurt.
  12. It was really my fault because I didn't tell anyone. (No it wasn't. It wasn't your fault because he threatened your life if you told.) It was really my fault because I didn't fight back. (It wasn't your fault because your body activated a natural survival mechanism.) It was really my fault because I let him do it. (It was really his fault because he was a grown man that manipulated a child.) It was really my fault because I liked it. (Your body reacted naturally to stimulation. It wasn't your fault.) My trust was betrayed by a man that should have protected me. The fault lies with him. It is his sin to face on the day that we are all judged by the Lord. My hands are clean. I did nothing wrong. What happened is not, and never was, my fault.
  13. Hey there. I know that I don't know you, but I could try to talk to you if you'd like.
  14. Wait, when you say they are non epileptic seizures, do you mean that you still black out or...?
  15. SLM is right. It's alright to ask others for help, even when we are older. Everybody needs help sometimes. You have nothing to feel ashamed of.