After 4 years of being in a relationship with now my ex-boyfriend as of last month, he tells me he didn't know the rape was a big deal to me. The rape happened 4 years ago so he has been there since day 1 and witnessed how it affected me. He's held me at night from nightmares about my rapist, heard me talk constantly about how upset i am about it all. For him to say he didn't know it was a big deal to me was unbelievable. I went to every single court date facing my attacker alone. He always seemed to be too busy with school or work to make it.